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Thursday, September 30, 2004

Fall-out flier: notres familles: faites attention!

> From: Richard McConnell [Turner's uncle]
> To: Margo and John Turner [Turner's parents]
> Sent: Thursday, September 30, 2004
> Subject: Planet Simpson
>
> Margo and John,
> Imagine my surprise when I opened the paper this
> morning. A giant glossy ad supplement from Chapters
> fell out and on the back page there was this wild
> cover of a book by Chris Turner featured under the
> heading "Great New Fall Releases". I guess he really
> has made the "big time" and is now entitled to end
> almost any argument with, "Well, as I said in my
> book."
>
> Congratulations,
> Richard

Reports are coming in that papers across Canada are carrying this supplement. So far we have confirmations on The Globe & Mail (though, strangely, not in the Calgary edition), the Halifax Chronicle Herald (known in some circles as "the Chronically Horrid") and the Vancouver Sun. Upon receiving this email Turner suddenly ran out and bought a pipe and smoking jacket; as I type, he's posing in the doorway and practicing, "As I said in my book..."

> From: John Turner
> Subject: Re: Planet Simpson
> To: Richard McConnell
> CC: Margo Turner, Chris Turner
>
> Good morning, Richard. Much to my surprise and
> delight I discovered it early this morning. I found
> the same glossy ad supplement in both of our papers.
> Of course I quickly looked through it for
> Planet Simpson, but expecting that they probably
> wouldn't get to it till next month. Just as I was
> starting to feel disappointed, I turned to the back
> page and there it was --- one of the two largest
> book covers pictured!
>
> Chris, congratulations. I hope this is the start of
> wild publicity sweeping the nation for the great new
> bestseller. Talk to you soon.
>
> Love, Dad

Posted by Ashley at 10:31 AM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Good Weekend in Australia

An excerpt from Planet Simpson is appearing in Australia's Good Weekend magazine (a supplement in the weekend papers), and it made the cover!

Ad from Friday's Sydney Morning Herald, the excerpt teaser:

All we know is that it'll be 3000-3500 words taken from Chapter 3: Bart Simpson, Punk Icon. If the Saturday Times (UK) excerpt from September 4th is any indication [link unavailable], the 3000-3500 words could be pulled from anywhere, mixed and matched, edited down, changed, and in general perhaps resemble the actual manuscript in only a very general way.

However, the Good Weekend mag, distributed through the Sydney Morning Herald and The Age (Melbourne), has a circulation of nearly 375,000 and an estimated readership of almost 1,850,000 people. These are the official stats for those papers, apparently. The numbers sound absolutely huge and unbelievable, though. Amazing to think of all those people sitting around the breakfast table this morning, reading from Planet Simpson! (Kangaroos bouncing past the window, etc.)

We thought it rather grand that such a superb publicity coup coincided nicely with the birthday of Peta, ever-awesome manager of the Australia publicity for Planet Simpson. Happy birthday Peta!

Posted by Ashley at 09:27 AM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Website down-down-down

Last Thursday, very suddenly, the lights went out down Planet Simpson Way. Brother John took on a flurry of activity relating to hardware and technology voodoo bits, things-computerish I don't understand. But even the Luddites among us could see that the site was down. The Bristowe server was ripped out, replaced, and thence molded into a flapjack in the shape of Alberta -- fulfilling a longtime dream of one John A. Bristowe.

Things are now up and running once again, though we'll be back-posting the entries created during the Regional Blackout and eventually it'll look like nothing was ever amiss.

But thanks must go to our trusty band of cross-Canada feed-backers. You pointed out the lapse in connectability-to-the-site, again and again, and again, over email. We love you, trusty band of feed-backers! The site is up! Let feed-backing recommence!

Posted by Ashley at 10:05 PM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Monday, September 20, 2004

Scooped For The First Time

plus +

(AB note: It should be mentioned yet again that the road to [internet] hell is paved with good intentions [and, uh, an inability to program]. I spent two and a half hours last night trying to build a series of graphics the mathematical equation of: Doug McClure plus Troy Donahue to the power of Phil Hartman equals Troy McClure. I couldn't make the graphics line up horizontally, I couldn't find a jpeg of a plus sign (everything was in gif and wouldn't work for me)... voodoo, I say. Vooooo-dooooo!)

So today I (Turner) had what I'd call the first "in-depth" interview of the book publicity gauntlet thusfar: a two-hour lunch with Robin Thompson of the Calgary Herald. She's putting together some sort of feature about me and the book for The Heralds Saturday Arts & Books section. It'll come out the same week as the book does in October (October 12th in Canada), I'm told.

It was a fine lunch at Victoria's Resturant, a venerable old leather-seated, wood-panelled establishment on 17th Ave. SW in Calgary (just a few blocks east of the "Red Mile" made famous by the Flames' Stanley Cup run earlier this year). And it was the first time - but surely won't be the last - that someone told me something I didn't know about The Simpsons.

It's a good one: Robin, being a bit older than me, pointed out that the ubiquitous hack actor Troy McClure (brilliantly voiced by the late Phil Hartman) was instantly recognizable to she and her peers. Their generation knows he's a dead ringer for Doug McClure, one of the most ubiquitous hack actors of the 1960s and 1970s. (They may remember him from such films as Warlords of Atlantis and The Bananas Boat [no particularly good links available].) I'm not sure how I missed this in my research, though in my defence I'll note that it is less prominently documented than, for example, the real-life origins of Channel Ocho's beloved Bumblebee Guy.

Regardless, I was a little bit humbled. But now, after a quick bit of remedial research, I find that I can now stump Robin right back! She's right about the Doug McClure reference - but only half-right. Troy McClure is in fact an amalgam of Doug McClure and Troy Donahue. The latter was a 1960s heartthrob and the subject of an Andy Warhol silkscreen. You might remember him from such films as Live Fast, Die Young and The Phantom Gunslinger. Zing!

Surely no Simpsons tome - even my thick volume - can be completely exhaustive, but I'll keep plugging away at it. And yes, if and when there's a second edition, Troy McClure's provenance will most certainly be added as a new footnote-sidebar thingee. Keep watching this space for more updates.

Posted by Turner at 06:20 PM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Tardy Final Notes On The London Extravaganza

At the beginning of the trip I was staying just over the river from Waterloo Station, and I spent a good deal of my time in London with the Kinks' "Waterloo Sunset" rattling around my head, particularly the last verse:

Millions of people swarming like flies
'round Waterloo underground
But Terry and Julie cross over the river
Where they feel safe and sound
And the don't need no friends
As long as they gaze on Waterloo sunset
They are in paradise

(AB note: Sorry, you can't enlarge these photos. ...Voodoo, it's all voodoo for me, in the absence of Brother John.)

Come Wednesday last week, I had to clear out of Random House's author apartment in Pimlico to make room for some other visiting writer. As such I had the good fortune to spend my last two nights in London staying at the flat of our good friend John Johnston in Shepherd's Bush. Which worked out wonderfully, not just because John's great company and a gracious host, but also because last Wednesday was the night of England's World Cup qualifier against Poland, which set the stage for a quintessentially English evening.

First we popped down to the local pub to watch the game, and found ourselves - to John's surprise - lost in an energetic crowd of Poland supporters. (The England fans were a minority of at most 10 percent in this pub, perhaps owing to it being situated directly across the street from one of London's most beloved Polish restaurants.) Anyway, England was up 1-0 when we arrived, but shortly thereafter Poland scored a tying goal, and the pub went freaking bonkers, with cheering, scarf-waving, and song after song. I figured I was hearing some grand old traditional Polish folk tune until John leaned over and asked me if I recognized the melody of what was clearly the crowd favourite. The Polish fans' fave cheer, it slowly dawned, was set to the tune of "Go West" by the Pet Shop Boys. In the end, England won 2-1 (match summary).

After the game, we walked up the street to a curry house for a huge, fantastic Indian meal. Midway through, an energetic young man at the next table stood up, pointed forcefully at me, and bellowed, "GREAT accent! GREAT accent! GREAT accent!" This was delivered, mind you, in a thick north-English accent that sounded like Liam Gallagher to me (John wasn't completely certain it was Mancunian) and had me worried for a moment that the lad was taking the piss (or, worse, trying to pick a fight). John figured he was sincere, though, so I noted that my GREAT accent was Canadian - not American as the possibly-Mancunian lad had thought - and we returned to our thalis.

So then: down the pub for a bit of footie, a bit of curry, an exuberant Mancunian - evenings don't get much more English than that, at least not for this Canuck.

Posted by Turner at 09:16 AM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Three cheers for The Guardian

Grandma Kay Bristowe has long been well known as the only grandma any of us knew whose bathroom reading material consisted exclusively of the UTNE Reader and various hyper-literate socialist mags.

But at the breakfast table, it was The Guardian, aka The Manchester Guardian, brought in special from England once a week, that this Brandon Manitoba-raised, Montreal-bred, retired Royal Victoria night nurse insisted was the only newspaper worth reading in the English-speaking world.

It was twenty years ago when I was first introduced to this paragon of western civilization, as part of the overall indoctrination (which involved elaborately prepared grapefruit, and tea steeped no more than two minutes; dressing for dinner in the jungle wasn't a reasonable ritual in Victoria BC). When you're ten years old and trapped for a week at your grandparents' condo on Vancouver Island, you end up doing a lot of crossword puzzles with Grampa Jack and taking in far more information than any child needs about pruning clematis on a south-facing wall. A lesson: you think you're bored, but some of those pearls of wisdom stick to the fragile eggshell mind.

Here it is, 2004, in Calgary, Canada. And today I have my sectioned half-grapefruit in one hand and special serrated spoon in the other, and I raise them up high above the teapot and I say, Hurrah! A toast to The Guardian, that only paper worth reading in the English-speaking world, whose review, if short, at least got it right:

Guardian Review of Planet Simpson, 11 September 2004
(Review at bottom of the screen page)

Posted by PlanetSimpson at 12:35 PM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (1)

Thursday, September 09, 2004

My last full day in London

I just took a stroll up Charing Cross Road (is it "The Charing Cross Road," as in certain other London street names, e.g. the Kensington High Street?). Anyhoo, Charing Cross is of course the famed historic home of London's finest booksellers, so I thought I'd go looking for my tome amid the vast warrens of gilt-trimmed history books and glossy art books. Couldn't find it at a large store called Blackwell's. Started to worry. [AB note: hmmm; we list them as one of our fine, upstanding local independent booksellers on this site.]

A half-block further up the street was a Borders. And there it was - on display in the window! Quite a rush to have it sitting there prominently in a shop window on (The?) Charing Cross Road.

[AB note - Rather surreal.]

Pretty much erased the bitter taste in my mouth from the unrelenting hatchet job of a review in last Sunday's Times.

Since this blog is supposed to be at least partly about documenting the experience of publishing one's first book, it's worth a quick digression on said Sunday Times hatchet job, which was the first published review of Planet Simpson. So then: What's it like to have something you've spent two years of your life working on (and a dozen more dreaming of) bludgeoned to a paste on the pages of a major newspaper?

Well, it's in fact a lot like being sucker-punched square in the face. Right away there's that sudden tingling rush of blood to the extremities, that sort of surreal fight-or-flight sense of heightened awareness as the adrenalin courses through you. Hot on the heels of that comes the animal rage, the overwhelming desire to hit back as hard as you can, over and over and over.

And then - thankfully - your higher faculties return, and you slowly calm down and come to realize that there's no point letting some random wanker's jealous temper tantrum spoil your fun. In the end, you shrug it off, though you are left with a lingering bruise, a tender spot. (Will I ever forget the random wanker reviewer? The nature of some of his more pungent and bizarrely inaccurate insults? Nuh-uh. I mean, it's bad enough to be accused of not knowing how to write; but to be told you don't even know how to read?!?)

To summarize: it's been a bit of a roller-coaster, this first flush of publication. A national TV apperance, then a sucker-punch, then a positive interview on RTE (Radio Eire, Ireland's national broadcaster). And then the quiet, private joy of seeing the fruit of your labour displayed in a shop window along the most famous avenue in publishing. I'll probably hold onto my memory of that last bit of the ride more than anything.

Cheers, London. It's been an exhilirating trip.

Posted by PlanetSimpson at 09:33 AM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Pony Would Like You To Know

... that it is her pleasure to be appearing as "the dog" in this week's Australian press release.

We thought this photo "gives good Canada" with the characteristic ice & snow, and lovely wide open natural spaces (aka Calgary's Southland Drive Bow River dog park), and of course the requisite rugged outdoorsman-et-son-chien. I wish we'd thought to put Turner in a lumberjack jacket that day.

Complete press release, final draft

Posted by PlanetSimpson at 06:40 PM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Monday, September 06, 2004

Turner on "Richard and Judy"

Earlier today, Turner was interviewed on Britain's Channel 4 program, "Richard and Judy". A screenshot of the show's Monday lineup, advertising the interview, can be seen here. We're working on obtaining a digital video copy of Turner's appearance through a UK contact - thank you Benjamin! - and may have it up in a few days.

Through the magic of the internet and webcams and online telephone and some other tech voodoo I don't understand, John and I were able to watch a recorded version of today's show, earlier this afternoon. Turner did great. He didn't get to talk much about the book itself, and at least half the interview slot was used on showing various illustrative clips from The Simpsons, but enh - it was the clearly-Simpsons-loving Richard and Judy politely and enthusiastically plugging the UK edition, with the camera panning back to show my husband's handsome face on the opposite couch: I was pleased. Turner was even wearing the great blue shirt he looks so good in. Who can resist the blue shirted, bearded, funny-accented, smiling writer-man pushing a 471-page pro-Simpsons tome? Not me.

From the man himself:
It was, like TV always is in my limited experience, a long
stretch of not much at all followed by a sudden whirlwind. I spent
two hours or so hanging out in the green room (which, true to its
name, was actually lined with green Astroturf-like carpet) with a
friendly Ebury publicist named Stina and a rotating cast of producers
and fellow guests. I sat briefly for make-up (just a little powdering
to reduce the glare). I had my shirt whisked away to be pressed. Had
a microphone attached to me. Sat in the green room some more. And
then I was led to the studio floor, watched the last bit of the
preceding segment (an interview with the stars of a new British
sitcom, including Neil Morrissey of Men Behaving Badly fame), and
then I was whisked out onto the set, seated on the couch, and Richard
and Judy and I watched clips of the show and talked about them, and I
kind of guessed that I was best off looking at them as much as
possible (no one had told me where to look), and I can barely
remember what I said, and then it was over and I was back in the
green room and people told me it went well. That I seemed "very
relaxed." Which I wasn't, but there you go.

As for Richard & Judy itself, I'd been led to believe that it was a
cross between Oprah and Regis & Kathie Lee/Kelly, which is accurate
inasmuch as R&J features lots of book talk (a la Oprah) and two
bantering co-ed hosts (a la Reege and whoever). As far as I could
tell, though, R&J was a good deal smarter than Reege and a good deal
less share-your-feelings-with-the-group than Oprah, and of course
much more English than either of them. Basically, it seems to consist
of Richard kind of rambling excitedly about the topic at hand, with
Judy (his real-life wife) interjecting periodically with mild jabs at
Richard's silliness or the occasional question for a guest. Also, I
should add that R&J's behind-the-scenes staff were much friendlier,
more enthusiastic, and less self-important than people I've
encountered who work on much less prominent TV shows in Canada, which
was a welcome surprise.

The only real down side was that it seems the hosts introduced Turner as an American writer; you know - Canadian, American, what's the difference...? (Scottish/English... Kiwi/Aussie... close enough, right? Well.)

Later today, we received this note, errors n' all, from Turner:

Must keep this brief as I'm writing from a sort of phone booth
set-up in Victoria Station at like 10:45 pm and I have no idea how
much more time I've got left before it quits on me.

Keyboard of this thing is like an outmoded cash macchine, and thhere
is some kind of vomit-likke substaance on thhe 'n' key (though
hardened, thankfully). guy next to me can't figure out how to
just make a phone call, wants to discuss it.

R&J show today went great, more on that when I can get to a more
user-friendly internet access point. Mostly justwanted to
document the fact of this crud-covered internet kiosk accurately while
enduring it.

Man, it's like typing on one of those old calculator things with
the spool of paper attached that accountants had in the '70s. I
wonder if this is the longest messageanyone's ever had the
patience and/or intestinal fortitude to bang out on this thing.

Over and out for now.

Turner got an photograph of the offending keyboard:

Mmm... vomit-likke substaance on thhe 'n' key...

Posted by PlanetSimpson at 07:41 PM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Turner's Day 2 in London Towne

Random English-themed Simpsons line:

Homer to Hugh in "Lisa's Wedding": "You know what's great about you English? Octopussy. Man, I must've seen that movie... twice!"

You know what's not so great about you English? The damn Tate Modern's Edward Hopper exhibit was sold out when I got there today. Frankly, I didn't know art-museum exhibits could sell out. Shows you what a Philistine I am, I guess. On the other hand, the weather here in London Towne is uncharacteristically hot and sunny, and I picked up some excellent old punk albums at the Old Spitalfields Market today. (Pop quiz: How the heck do you pronounce "Spitalfields"? Long "i" or short? Bonus question: What's a spital, and where would one find fields of it? And for that matter why?)

Now I'm in the achingly stylish lounge of my hotel, which has complementary net access, drinking a Bitburger Pils and checking my email. Lo and behold, I find in my inbox some sartorial advice from my mother-in-law:

"I had the pleasure of growing up with Juliet Burnford [n.b. daughter of Sheila Burnford, author of The Incredible Journey] during my youth in Thunder Bay (then Port Arthur, ON). As both of her parents were British I became conditioned to certain musts and acceptable standards, according to them, over the course of my friendship with their daughter. I can't say for certain if this is a bias with all Brits but the Burnfords had an absolute fixation regarding clean, polished shoes. It was almost as if you could be flung together any which way in your dress; you could have a bird nest in your hair - but the shoes gave the true mark as to your class and breeding. So with this experience concerning hoof covers in hand may I suggest a quick but complete circle around your shoes with a damp kleenex or wad of toilet paper after you have put them on and prior to your departure for any interviews you may have there."

Thanks for the tip, Val. I'll be sure to wear my most stylish black dress shoes to tomorrow's interview on Richard & Judy. And wipe 'em up nice-like before I leave for the studio.

A note from HQ in Calgary: Turner called tonight and reported that he'd actually been called "gov" (as in "guv'nr"/governor) by a taxi driver today. A bit of local flavour.

Posted by PlanetSimpson at 06:53 PM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (1)

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Turner's Arrival in London Towne

Landed in Heathrow circa 11:15 a.m. GMT. If radio interviews don't count, then this marked the beginning of my "tour." Had a funny moment filling out the landing card when it occurred to me that I could more or less truthfully fill in the blank after "Occupation" with "Author." Went with the more generic and humble "writer" instead.

For the first two nights, I'm staying at the ridiculously hip City Inn Westminster, a stone's throw from Big Ben and the Parliament buildings. (Cue Chevy Chase in European Vacation: "Look kids - Big Ben, Parliament." Though of course the line that first came to mind - and has been lodged in my head ever since - is Bart in the Cape Feare episode, making plans for his new identity in the Witness Relocation Program: "I'll be Gus, the lovable chimney-sweep. Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle, best in all Westminster!")

Anyhoo, the place looks like the kind of hotel a model or visiting avant-garde multimedia artist would stay at. I feel underdressed. Also very very tired. Naptime for the jetlagged touring author.

Posted by PlanetSimpson at 06:41 PM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Friday, September 03, 2004

Australia Bound!

We heard today from the ever-great Peta at Random House Australia that the November tour is a go: dates TBA, but sometime between November 8th to 18th. Both Turner and Ashley are on board for the trip - awesome. The draft itinerary includes Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane.

Posted by PlanetSimpson at 10:20 AM (-07:00 GMT) | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Turner to London, UK

We've just heard that Turner will be appearing on Channel 4's "Richard & Judy" on Monday, September 6th to shill for Planet Simpson. He leaves for the UK tomorrow evening and will be in London a week to promote the book and look around - his first trip to the UK. Big Ben! Parliament!

Posted by PlanetSimpson at 08:15 AM (-07:00 GMT)